Working Hard

How is everybody today? Me? I am doing great.

I just walked in the door from work. Just another day in the office. It is actually my second day back on the counter at Grayco Building Center. I work with contractor sales. It is a position where you have to be on your toes all the time.

I have been back at Grayco now for a month. Prior to that I was at a place called Faith Home. Faith Home is Christian based Rehab for drug addicts & alcoholics. It is a truly awesome place to get started in recovery. I feel so lucky to have been a part of Faith Home. That was defenitly the start of a new life for Bernie "Mac ."

Well anyhow when I returned back home & went back to work I was supposed to get my position back at the counter doing sales but I was put in a different position. I was a little disappointed but I realized that if it was Gods will for me to get back on the counter that there was no reason to worry about it. After being there in that other position for about three weeks I was moved back to my original spot. While I was in the other spot for those three weeks I worked my tail off & it was noticed by everybody. The only thing is I did not do it for recognition I did it because that was my job. My boss was keeping a good eye on me just for the simple fact that I am a recovering drug addict. He said he is very pleased with me since I have returned. He also said I have alot to offer the company and they would be crazy not to put me back on the counter so I am back.I know my job has alot to offer also. I am so glad that they all know what I have gone through because they will continue to support me at work with my job and my recovery. I work with a really great group of people. I get along great with everybody. They all hold me accountable as a matter of fact I had to go and take a random drug test today. Man I was so excited to have to take a drug test just because I knew I would pass it. It is actually the only one I have ever passed. I have taken a few. It is only by Gods grace that I am in recovery now. I also realize the my only chance to stay in recovery is to stay connected to God ( as my dad says I have to stay plugged in so my light will shine )& surround myself with people that are in recovery at N A meetings or wherever they might be. If I continue to rely on God he will direct me where to go.
5)Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding ; 6) in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6) This verse is very simple to understand for me. I tried so many different times to do it Bernie's way and kept getting the same results but was expecting different ones everytime. That's what I call insanity doing the same thing over & over again and again and expecting something different to happen. Until I called on the Lord to lead, guide & direct me in my life I would keep getting the same results. I still fall short everyday but all I can do is do my best everyday & I will succeed.

I know I have gotten off the subject I started on but that is alright I never claimed to be a writer. Remember I am a recovering drug addict but a very grateful one at that.

Today was pretty busy. My brother-in-law kept me pretty busy. Which is a good thing. It makes me feel good that people can depend on me again. Before I got strait I might say I am going to do something but you defenitly could not count on it. Today is a different story, if I say I'll do it or I'll be there you can count on it. I know that the people around me see the difference. If not they soon will. All I can do is my best and God will do the rest. I have faith that my God will take care of me shoot He has gotten me this far hasn't he ? There is no reason I should worry about anything if I give it to God He will take care of it as he sees fit. (Let His will be done.)

Well it is now 11:11 pm & I am tierd I need to go to bed. And no I haven't been writing this since I got off of work I have been to an NA meeting & to the upper room praying with my father & Vincent what a blessing that is. (The upper room is above the garage at my mom & dads house. We have a prayer meeting up there every monday night come on over and join us. It is a real blessing. Prayer changes things )

PRAYER
God of health and wholeness. I ask you to unify all that is fragmented in my life.

Unity is the entire theme of recovery & life - the wholeness of body, spirit and soul. When we are whole , then we experience personal unity-serenity.
Since I focus less on controlling other people, circumstances, or events, I can spend that time bringing about unity in my own life. Then I can pray that others close to me will also begin and maintain a recovery in their own life. Regardless of what others do, I can keep working my program, taking appropriate steps of recovery. When our pain is acknowledged rather than hidden, we are moving toward wholeness. And with wholeness comes unity.
Personal unity is easier to attain than unity with others. But often when we have laid aside our grievances, forgiven others, and , given our lives and wills over to God, we no longer have the need to get even. Therefore we may even experience unity in relationships. God is the author of unity, & he knows what needs to happen in each life to bring about unity.

LET GO AND LET GOD !!!!!!!
He has created us, how else can we figure out what we are to be if we don't go to him to find out ??
Well good night to all.
In case nobody has told you that they love you today ,I LOVE YOU !!!

Celebrate Recovery

Man talk about Celebrate Recovery, tonight I went to Charleston to Sea Coast Church to a Celebrate Recovery meeting. They had a time of praise & worship & testimony time which lasted an hour. After that we split into groups for open discussion meetings. Man, was it good!

The best thing about recovery is the fellowship. I had a great time of fellowship all the way there, while I was there , and on the way home, thanks to my good friend, Jeremiah. I really enjoyed the time we had together. I know he enjoyed it also. I am really thankful for the people God has put into my life. People that care about me and would do anything in the world to help me in my recovery. Just the one on one time with these people helps me tremendously. We have so much to be thankful for. As a matter of fact, the topic for discussion in the meeting tonight was things we are most grateful for. Man, do I have a long list. I didn't even know where to start. Actually I know what is #1 on my list :

1) I am so thankful for the cross on Calvary where the blood of Jesus was shed when Jesus laid down his life to save us. What a sacrifice!!!
Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13 NIV) If you stop and think for a minute about this verse and what it is saying, would you lay down your life to save somebody elses. We were not even born yet and Jesus did this for each and everyone of us . He paid the price in full for our sins. Now all we have to do is to give our lives to Him as living sacrifices & get as many to follow Him as possible. That should be our goal in life. That is His will for our lives to be servants for Him & tell the Good News to everybody!!
23 Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. (Luke 9:23-24) The choice is all ours.What we do in our life is all up to us. I choose to lose my life for His , but we all struggle in life with life. That is why we must always remember this life will soon pass away.
All we can do is do our best while we our here. (lead by example - somebody is always watching, if not, don't forget God sees all)
I could go on forever just talking about my #1 on my gratitude list, but I am sure ya'll get the point.( I sure hope so ) GOD should be your #1 ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!

2)I am so grateful for the fellowship I have with the people God has put in my life. What a blessing. God has put these people in my life for a reason. Each and everyone has a particular purpose, whether I realize yet or not. The people in the rooms of NA and the people in Celebrate
Recovery are there to support each other. They all understand the disease and what goes on in the life of an addict. It is not an easy road to go down. That is why they are so valuable to one another. They are always ready to help out. My family and church family are there to support and pray for me as I travel down this road of recovery. Man, recovery is good!!
3) Believe it or not I am grateful for the things I have gone through in my life. The good and the bad. I know it is all part of the plan, Gods plan for me. I know that all the things I have gone through have turned me into who I am today. A loving, caring , forgiving, and praying individual.
I could go on forever with my gratitude list but I will stop it here. There are so, so many things I am thankful for. Now that I am in recovery I am able to realize it. Shoot ,I am thankful to be in recovery now and not dead in my addiction. All I was doing was existing. Now I am living. Man it is good to be alive. I am also thankful for ya'll. Do not forget God loves you and so do I. We should honor the great commandments to love God with one's entire being, and one's neighbor as oneself. Love calls for a dedication of one's whole life, a consecrated self- giving so complete that the human will can never accomplish it. Because it is beyond the will, it is beyond all moral codes of behavior.
The greatest commandment goes to the very core of being, and there it depends radically upon grace. At this level the commandment of love is no regulation; it is a statement of the truth of life, it is an invitation to accept love's passion, commit oneself to it, and try to live it wholeheartedly.
Our yes to this commandment, this invitation, is a matter of simple caring, our hearts aching for the fullness of love for no other reason than its own essential goodness. In this simple, exquisite longing, awakening in each precious moment, we know who we really are. It is the likeness of God.
I can honestly say I love you all.